And So It Begins

It has only been slightly less than 24 hours, but it began immediately. I had already had a trial run when trying on the idea of homeschooling a while back. I sought opinions, I talked to everyone, and boy did I ever get responses! So it came as no surprise when this face was everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. It was a sea of doubt, and I had to tread through it. And I thought to my self, "this is what you asked for."

Grateful that I at least was fresh on the heels of my confidence from yesterday, I started telling people. They were going to find out anyway. It was no big secret, and yet I felt so guarded up to this point. You would think I was telling people I was going to surgically implant another eye, so that I could see better, and yet the reaction was still as dramatic. Maybe this was another one of those things that we keep to ourselves. Then again, I had never been any good at that before, being a habitual over-sharer. So there I was, I was explaining away my reasons while keeping an upbeat disposition. An earlier me, would have ran and hid in fetal position at this reaction, but I stood firm until the initial reaction had cleared from their face. Most people never really got past the "I think you're crazy, but you have to do what you have to do" part of the conversation. This was how it went, and with only a few black sheep of exception, whom I love dearly, the reaction was nearly the same among everyone.

Me: "So, we're going to do it! We're going to start homeschooling in 2 weeks"

Other Person: (See above picture )

Me: "I know, but I am really excited about it. I have all these ideas, and I am really looking forward to this new adventure."

Other Person: (take your pick) "Wow! Well, I guess you're braver than me! I couldn't do it!", "I'll be praying for you.", or "Make sure not to burn your bridges so that you can come back. You know..... in case it doesn't work out."

Tough crowd, right? Thanks for your vote of confidence.

It didn't phase me though, but it was clear that people are either very right to be certain of my impending failure at this, or more likely - scared for me. I guess it all comes from the idea of something different. People don't like different. It's not comfortable. You don't have the comfort of the group, the easy fit of the proverbial cog in society's machine. Then there's the "tradition", er rather the warm and fuzzies of knowing what is expected. There is something so lovely about cherishing rites of passage, like the first day of kindergarten, kids games on the playground, the science fair. I would say they are right to feel this way. You have to let go of your ideas of what to expect, and you want to share the things you loved about school with your kids. This means doing things the way they were done for you. Besides, it is scary to go it alone.

It is scary, to branch off from mainstream society, and say publicly, "Hang on a minute. I think I may have a better idea." And the response? "Why would you want to teach your own children? I mean that's crazy, right? Don't you want a break from your kids? They'll drive you crazy!" People would say to you, "Psshaw! That's what teacher's are for!" And I can't judge, I thought the same things before all this. However, I have never truly been mainstream, and I have pictures of me in high school to prove it, ........and an unearthly addiction to candy.

Although I have mellowed quite a lot since then, I can't help but feel like everyone is perfectly comfortable, and I am the princess with a pea. There I am starting to make ripples around me, while society says, "But look at all these pretty graphs, and research. We have developed a multitude of guidelines and procedures as well as invested a wealth of money to discover what you, silly girl, think you can do with your mere pittance of funds and lack of a college degree. It's all very technical, and dates back to the beginning of time. You've only been on this earth 29 years. You're not qualified to do this, which I think you will see if you look here. Our research has shown that all children do better with implementing our newest policies and procedures, as seen here on this page......" and yet, it means nothing to me, because I think to myself, "and somehow everyone survived before your newest information, and did fine."

This is reminiscent of teen angst. I can't let "the man" tell me what to do! In reality I actually have to, since we are governed. I am not advocating for anarchy or anything, but there can be wiggle room, right?

That brings me to where I am. Can't I fulfill the requirements, and follow the rules, but still be me? I'm just asking for wiggle room, because I am a square peg, and though you're full of round holes now, what if you need more square pegs later. I mean none of us know the future, and maybe it's filled with all sort of different shaped holes, and then we'll only have round pegs! But all this is silliness, because we're not pegs.

We're people. Living, breathing, people learn differently, and have different skills, likes, and dislikes. So no matter how deep the sea of faces. I've been here before. This is not the first decision I made where people thought I was nuts, and it won't be the last. Today I can take on the world. Let's just hope tomorrow is not a fetal position kind of day. I'm kind of unpredictable like that. I had better stock up on candy :/